So my washing machine has been nearing the end of its life span for some time now.  It was nothing fancy to begin with, so it would have cost more to repair than it was worth.  So I've just been running it as usual while quietly making plans for its end.  In the mean time, the obnoxious sounds it has been making have turned into silly jokes for me.  Today as it was agitating, I said to myself,
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"My washing machine."
    At that particular moment, a new sound started.  This one sounded like a helicopter was landing on my house.  Concerned that it might be rocking its way across the room to attack my children, I went tearing across the house to go investigate.  It was then that I made a world-class attempt to leave my pinkie toe on the wrong side of the corner into the kitchen.  I looked down, simultaneously surprised by the amount of blood already present and the fact that the toe was not disgustingly perpendicular to the rest of my foot.  Seriously.  I expected dislocation, not laceration!  
    So, um, it's still screaming.  And yes, I am referring to both my toe and the washing machine.  Since all I can do is sit in this chair for the moment anyway, I figured I'd let all of you laugh at my expense.

CL