Sometimes I wonder if I will scare all of you off if I write about all of the off-the-wall things that go through my head.  Yes, you read that right:  as weird as many of my posts may be, I hold back.  I am not always certain that randomness of questionable origin will make anyone giggle except me.  Then I found my inspiration through my friend Missy (www.missydetrick.wordpress.com) when she linked to the funniest blog I have ever read.  Here is my disclaimer:  It is absolutely R-Rated.  It is absolutely offensive.  If you are easily offended by crude humor and vulgar language, do not follow the link I'm going to give you.  I'm not into being judged because this chick makes me laugh out loud.  A lot.  www.hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com.  She is seriously random and shares things about herself that might be embarrassing, but are so much fun to read.  And now you understand why I have become emboldened enough to share my Panic Attack of the Day with you:
    I have always had a bit of an aversion to manmade openings in the earth.  I think it can be traced back to Baby Jessica getting trapped in that stupidly tiny well when I was young and impressionable.  (Don't remember?  Go here: http://www.people.com/people/archive/article/0,,20193651,00.html.)  When I had children, it became much worse.  I began to visualize one of my girls slipping and falling into a storm water drainage inlet.  (I actually just tried to call my civil engineer husband to find out the proper term for those things.  He didn't answer.  If he doesn't return my call before I'm ready to publish, I'm going to leave it as 'storm water drainage inlet'.)  It becomes so real to me each and every time we pass one of these that my palms begin to sweat and I have trouble speaking.
    I actually got the pleasure of having this experience twice today.  This morning we were at the nursery (the plant kind, not the baby kind) with my dad when Baby Duck and Ladybug went down a gravel path that had a large, rusty grate covering some ridiculous gaping abyss.  I barked at them to get away and come back to my side immediately.  I appreciated that my dad did not in any way imply that I was being silly for not wanting them to go near it.  I suspect, however, that he was only concerned about them sustaining injury if they were to fall in.  I was more focused on the 'certain death' aspect of the situation.
    Later, the girls and I decided to go for a walk, which really means I took them for a ride in their little red wagon to go procure frozen pizza and entertainment via redbox.  What do we have to pass on our way?  Yup.  One of those tragically malevolent inlets.  I swear those beasts have a gravitational pull.  I felt as though we were being sucked into it, wagon and all.  I even made sure to steer us way out into the middle of the street in our neighborhood so we would only get hit by a car and not swallowed by the sewer demon, yet I could still feel it tugging at my ankles.  Then we made it two more feet and it was all over.  It was then that I began to evaluate my phobia.  This was the most notable portion of my day, which is where I usually find my blog material.  I then argued with myself over whether to share this level of psychosis with the masses.  That's when I thought of my inspiration and the enjoyment I get from it.  So I decided to go for it.  Any thoughts?

CL