So, for quite some time (much to my mother's chagrin) I have had a fondness for heavy eye makeup.  Bright colors, black eyeliner, general smudginess under the guise of  "a smoky eye"... and LOTS of mascara.  I was very proud of myself a while back when I procured a loose powder eye shadow in a color somewhere between charcoal and eggplant laced with a teal shimmer.  I giggled and called it "black eye in a jar".  It was my favorite to wear when I was feeling particularly sassy.  My good friend LP from work will know the exact shade I am talking about; I bounded up to her with my eyes closed to show it off the day I got it.
I am even happier today to have it than I was in the beginning.  I'm sure you know exactly WHERE this is going.  What I doubt you will guess is the HOW.
I gave myself a black eye. 
I had a dream the other night that I rolled over and smacked my eye on my nightstand, missing a broken nose and permanent blindness by millimeters at most.  I dreamed it was so incredibly painful that I passed out.  I woke up the next morning with a sore eye.  Examination in the mirror revealed  a swollen, purple eyelid.  I apparently was not dreaming.  Ouch.  But at least I had the right eye makeup in my kit!  No one will be the wiser to my excessive clumsiness... except all of you.

CL